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This post below showed up in my Face Book memory feed from 2017. In the last four years, the country’s divide seems more dangerous than the Hayward fault in San Francisco. Families are not speaking because of different beliefs. LET THAT SINK IN A MINUTE. Families. Blood Relatives. Now take a breath and think with your heart. We’re going through a pandemic. A FREAKING PANDEMIC! A deadly pandemic! Did anyone expect this to happen? People DIED! Corona is picking people off one by one. Families are suffering tragic losses. People lost jobs, homes, businesses. Violence and hatred is not the answer. I can only speak for myself, and this is how I tolerate the negativity, I ignore it. I love my friends, I respect that they have strong opinions. But I don’t engage, even if our beliefs are similar. I will not ever discuss my political beliefs. I typically ignore the question. If the person is persistent I merely say, I don’t discuss things of a personal nature. But that’s me, my choice, because I have freedom of speech. Because I’m an American. Give peace a chance. It’s easy to hide behind the written word. I won’t hide; I wear my big girl panties every day.

This is the post for 2017:

Today a new administration is sworn in. I am fearful on so many levels. People who claim to be against bullying are now bullies. People who claim not to be haters are now hating. Name calling like children, snowflakes, deplorables? I am convinced deep down people truly care about their country and we will over come this horrible division. At least I hope they do and will try. All of you of voting age, how many times were you disappointed at an election result, local or national? We all were at some point, but we survived. WE THE PEOPLE of this amazing country have survived and will survive. The name calling, bullying, hatred and crowd mentality needs to stop. We sound like a country of bratty kids. Embarrassing. Please try to be peaceful, hopeful, prayerful. This is just my opinion. I know where you all stand on your political choice, this post isn’t to dispute that. Peace!

What can we say of the most traumatic year in our lives? Exhausting, anxiety-inducing, a year of loss, fear, loneliness, and financial struggles. People losing their homes, kids losing the ability to attend school and be with their friends, seniors cannot see family, women giving birth alone, patients dying alone. A year we would like to skip over in future history books, as it never happened. Who wants to be reminded of such horror?

I try to be positive, but how with such a disastrous year in our lives? Everyone knows someone who died because of this terrible virus.  So we’re six hours into the near year. 2021. We are hoping it’s better. Medical staff is administering the long-awaited vaccine. Rumors are they will eradicate the virus by summer.

For me, 2020 started quietly. Then more news of a virus, people dying, the virus replicating and changing as it spread—scientists one step behind in trying to figure out this new virus. Store shelves are empty, people waiting in line just to buy necessities. Toilet paper became a popular commodity. Who thought we’d live like this? I sure didn’t.

So here we are, six hours into 2021. People were so excited to see the new year and leave 2020 behind in a fiery blaze. Why? It gives us hope that in this new year. We are hopeful the vaccine does what it is supposed to do, without irreversible side effects. We are optimistic that the economy will stay stable, and people get back to work. Kids back to school, and seniors can see their family.

This virus waited until the last few weeks of 2020 to rear its ugly head to my family. My beloved in-laws took sick in mid-December. We got a call from my Father-in-Law saying they were ill, and an ambulance was on the way for them both. John rushed to their apartment to care for his mother, when they released her a few hours later. She tested positive for the virus but asymptomatic. They admitted my father-in-law into the hospital. My mother-in-law has been in a wheelchair for several years now and cannot assist her caregivers, not even for a second. She isn’t asymptomatic. She is suffering from the pain the virus did to her already weakened muscles. Taking what little control she had.  This enemy attacks the weakest. The doctors decided yesterday that a ventilator was necessary for my father-in-law. We are scared, and he is too. This virus changed him from a vigorous man to a man full of anxiety and fear.

John’s sister flew from her home in Florida and was here in just hours. My husband and his sister spend every day with their mother, along with an angel of a nurse. My brother-in-law is taking care of the nurse’s transportation, grocery shopping, and the medicine run. They had a system until the virus attacked my husband and, a day later, my sister-in-law. I’m worried, my husband and his sister sound so ill on the phone. My husband refuses to allow me anywhere near him because I’m immune compromised. We celebrated Christmas apart and last night apart. But what he is doing is necessary, and they need him. And I love him even more for the good person he is. I’m blessed, and I know it.

A few good things happened to our family in 2020. My dream to be published became a reality. SweetyCat Press plans to publish the third and fourth pieces in February. Two in the same anthology! My son Christian proposed to his love, Vanesa. I’m finally getting a daughter! She is perfect for my boy. My sons, Michael and Cameron, are blessings and are a tremendous help. I am so fortunate to have these beautiful souls.

As hard as it is to think that 2021 will bring change, we must remain hopeful that these vaccines will eradicate this beast and that our lives will be better. Be kind, be hopeful, be happy. Stay safe and wear your masks. Cheers to 2021 and bringing back our world as we knew it and praying it’s better.

I wake and the clock reads three in the morning, my skin tingles, memories of you heighten my senses. I crave you, need you, my body screams for you. My lips long to touch you, to taste your bold heat. My heart is racing as I try to justify my inner turmoil. Should I? Do I dare? You’re so close, yet so far away. I turn toward you, reasoning with myself. The late hour, so sleepy but yet…my body is awake, my senses acute, the internal battle rages within. Yes, it’s you I need, only you! Slowly, I slide the blankets lower and snake my legs from beneath. I tiptoe toward you, I need you like most need air. The desire burns deep in my gut. I take a deep satisfying breath, smell the essence of you. I lick my lips knowing soon they will touch you. The heat is building, the gentle noises you make while coming to life entice me. There is nothing like you, no one I’d rather be with in this moment, just you in quiet hours of the morning, when silence and darkness engulf us. I’m ready for your boldness and reach for it, your heat so close to my lips now, I plunge toward you and the first taste of you is exquisite, delightful and satisfying. I want to savor you, but you’re too much for me, my need is too great. I call out your name in heat of passion. I’m closer now, reaching euphoria, with just with my lips touching you! Oh…oh…coffee! You complete me. Lucia Catherine 11-14-19